STOP IT Stop It stop it........

There are a few english readers here, guess it may be nice to write in englsih sometimes.

Do a bit of an ad here.
Ulla got pretty good photographs here: http://www.blogger.com/profile/10851428
(will link as pro-photo here from now on)
this is exactly the style i am looking for from getty images.
Keep it up Ulla. I love baby and sceneries. ;)

This serious relationship is slowly devastating my life lately. It's kinda hard to imagine my life slowly changes its orbit and evolves around a man. This is not an in-build mechanism, it's sneakingly contaminating my other systems.

I feel the pressure, to fill out scholarships, master degree application forms, find a new job, finish my current and go see the man i love(plus a lot of covering jobs from a lot of people). Don't you understand now how much i want all this to end? Total desperation.

"If love me gives you pressure, why shall you?" I breathed in, after two months, his words.

I need to stop this. Stop this shit.

Doctor gave me sleeping pills today. I still couldn't fight back the germs in my body, nor the nightmares, nor the tears before sleep.
"Sleeping pill will bring you better sleep."
I hope it will.
I have to.
I need to.

He's away.
There're a lot that he won't understand. I don't know what to say at this moment.
Silence. I need silence.
Thinking too much gives me headache.
Heartache.

Stop this shit. I feel as if i am puking. Puking through typing the words i hate, the emotions that i want to get rid of.

Have just taken half of that sleeping pill...work so well
i want to go to sleep.

A little poem before sleep.

There are fascists from Roger McGough

There are

fascists

pretending

to be

humanitarians

like

cannibals

on a healthy kick

eating only

vegetarians

go to www.happybirthdaypenguin.com for more details

ciao..............................................................................................